a hard time

i'm having a really hard time dealing with the fact that angie doesn't trust me. at all. today, when jason called her, she once again asked if i understood, and that all behavior would stop. i don;t give a crap if she likes me. well, it would be nice, but i'm not going to loose sleep over it. i wish she would talk to me about it. i wish she wasn't so horrible. i wish dylan was a more receptive child, but being a boy, and being 9 doesn't help much. i wish i could sit down with him and have a conversation about it. but the fact i can barely have a conversation with jason about all this doesn't give me much hope.
i firmly believe in talking to our (the collective our) children. so they may pretend to, or acctually, ignore you, but they can never say you didn't try. and maybe some day they might remember the conversation or a bit of it...
i don't want to become a stranger to dylan. i don't want to disappear when ever he comes over. i know he doesn't dis-like me. i know that because i can read his body language, i can see the way he acts towards me.
i wish i wish i wish.

i don't know.